Dances With Night

Last night you told me that you played with White.


Except that once before you told me that you lived in the Light.

I sat stunned as I heard you say

That we were not going the same way.



I heard your pain

as I listened to you explain

How it seemed the Light and let you down

And how you couldn't trust It this time around.



I felt your bitterness as you told

how the Light seemed to have left you cold

How It seemed It had lied and abandoned you

and how It was sure to do the same to me too.



The experiences we had shared

in a time before this. mirrored

the true character of Night

and the visions of blinded Sight.



The lies and deception it told you

the time and the happiness it stole too

The ultimate grief, anger and despair

Has with you yet to be shared



I touched your heaviness and guilt

and grieved at the existence of the walls you've built.

I viewed through the glass

Your visions of the past



I hurt for your despondency in the visions of what is to come

and marveled at the sum

Of hopelessness and death

that according to the Night has to face us yet.





The realness of its fakery escapes you

Yet to me it remains so true

That dances with Night

Will increase the denseness in the spirit to Light.

I'm going to be posting my old HSA and Myspace blogs up here soon....

Counting My Blessings

This is my fifth Thanksgiving on my own and alone. I could be discouraged and depressed at the abandonment for another year. But this year I decided to do the very thing this holiday calls for.... be thankful and count my blessings.

1.  I have a place to live that is beautiful and warm.
              A year ago I had lost my job, was afraid I was going to lose my home for the second time in a year. I actually planned to live in my car last year. And the apartment I moved into was colder than my garage is right now.

2.  I have a working car.
               Last year I was without a car and was uncertain how I would get another one. God came through and this year my car seems to be working fine. Thank you God!

3.   I have a job.
               Last year I lost my job twice, and I was raised to believe that its my fault if I can't pay my bills. Thank God that this year I have a job and my needs are and always have been met.

4.   I have friends who love me and care about me
                  God has put the best people in my life who remind me everyday how much He loves me. I thank God for all of you!

This is just a few of the blessings that I could think of. I have so many more. So as this holiday progresses, I plan to keep finding things to be thankful about.

Thru my foggy lens

They say that we never see life as it is, only as we are. I guess that's the lens through which we understand life. I guess it's sad that if we never learned to trust that when we try to capture our opinion and perspective, we can miss the strength and love in a moment as if it were never there. If we've never learned to forgive how hard it is to see it in the face or action of another. Or if we think we are supposed to fix everything, we can miss the beauty in the rose blooming or the caterpillar changing into a butterfly because we made the result happen before its time.

There is a Master Photographer, a Master Artist, whose view, perspective, isn't limited. Who can see it all and knows it all. Who can see the whole picture, while I can only see a part of it. I want to see the world through His lenses, and take on His perfect view. I want to give up my imperfect, partial view for a Supernatural one...

50 years from now....

Fifty years from now, I'm sure someone will ask me what the Great Depression of the early 21st century was like. And fifty years from now will I know what to say?

I hope I say that:

God was faithful. When I was sure that it was over and all had sunk and I couldn't survive another minute, God was faithful.

God was my provider. When I had nothing and no means of changing that, God always came through.

God was my friend. When I had no one and was lonelier than Jonah in the whale's belly, God held me and carried me through.

I hope that fifty years from now I remember just how good God was and will continue to be.